Dear Reader, before you roll your eyes at the thought of another story about my backyard wildlife (bats, skinks, snakes and bugs, bunnies, coyotes, and chipmunks) know that this time, I have a witness to back up my tale!
Last night Mr. Catastrophe came over to watch Watchmen (Who will watch them? We will! Ha.) and we encountered Mr. Squirrel hanging out in my gutter above the kitchen door. (A spot that is quite popular with all kinds of creatures, apparently.)
We didn’t know it was a squirrel at first, just that there was something rustling around in the gutter and making squeaking noises. So of course I decided to poke the gutter with a broom. Mr. Catastrophe supervised. The Big Black Dog sniffed around the patio, and generally ignored us.
There was a great deal more chattering and squeaking, much of it sounding not happy. And the creature in the gutter was making noises, too. 
Finally a nose stuck out of the end of the guttering and Mr. Squirrel jumped out and ran over the roof and into the trees, where we watched him chatter and squeak and generally cuss us out.
Mr. Squirrel was pissed off because all he was trying to do was relax in his little squirrel cave away from home, and we had to mess that up. I mean, Mrs. Squirrel nags him constantly about gathering nuts, and if he’s taken out the bad leaves from the nest, and did he do all those other things she mentioned? So he takes off to his little home away from home, where he can relax, take a nap, and generally get away from things. And then come the mean humans prodding his getaway and harassing him.
At least, that was our interpretation.
[...] Was it ninjas sent to assassin me for knowing too much? Zombies – the thinking, fast kind of course, to get above me? Possums on a rampage? Squirrels from the gutter? [...]